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Likes online poker, jokes featuring retarded people and always types in caps making some wonder whether he is retarded as well.

Crap Bag

Of the Asian persuasion, lending a unique perspective; that of a grown man living in his parents basement. If you want an epsiode of an anime show about tennis or popcorn fried in sweet, delicious, artery-clogging oil, he's your man.

Ebert's Thumb

Ebert owned 3 t-shirts during all of high schoo, one of which he received free at Toys R Us when he purchased a Zelda game.

El Chupacabra

He can lose an entire day if a Star Trek marathon is on and is believed to have pioneered the double layer hot-dog and cheese sandwich. Like Crap Bag, he is squatting in his parent's basement, a place he affectionately refers to as the Fortess of Solitude.

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