Eberts Thumb

One planet, no wars

The high point of the movie is where our space colonists are stuck in their cryo chambers and can't move because they've been asleep for 15 years. All they can do is yell at each other and watch as a guy in an ape suit breaks into the chambers and eats most of the women and one man. This goes on for 30 minutes. For any other movie, this would be the worst part, but somehow it went downhill from here.

Eberts Thumb's Ratings
Entertainment: 1%	B-Movieness: 100%
Quality: 1%	Regret: 99%

El Chupacabra

Worst movie ever

The actors and actresses were also credited as set builders. Need I say more? Ebert's Thumb pretty much sums it up, but I'd also like to point out the poorly constructed night vision goggles that seemed to be swim goggles with a blinking LED on them. Who puts a blinking LED on night vision goggles for all to see? The makers of this movie, that's who. Second, the Chewbacca knock-offs either had ninja like powers or the human crew were all profoundly stupid. The crew was basically standing in a barren wasteland of rock and were still snuck up on time and time again. Lastly, we can construct a ship that capable of interstellar travel, but we're armed with M-16s. Where are the freaking lasers?

El Chupacabra's Ratings
Entertainment: 80%	B-Movieness: 97%
Quality: 1%	Regret: 78%

Charles Bronson

IF YOU HAVE NO EDUCATION AND YOUR FRIENDS WHICH YOU MET WORKING AT TACO BELL THINK YOU CAN BECOME FAMOUS MOVIE WRITERS, THINK AGAIN FRUITS.