Eberts Thumb

Scientists are able to freeze a room to absolute zero (-273 degrees) by switching the magentic polarity of the room. Right. Coincidentally, the magnetic polarity of the Earth is shifting at the same time, which will freeze everything between the tropics. Right.

This movie was made for TV and it shows. The special effects were crap, the sound quality was awful, nobody swore, no decent violence/gore, and the biggest name they could get was Erika Eleniak (sorry Jeff Fahey).

Alsolute Zero is one of those movies that makes you angrier every minute you watch it. Some of the scenes that were painful/confusing to watch were:

- The guy TA asking the girl TA if they were still on for the concert. Retard, Miami is in the process of freezing and won't thaw out for 1000 years (according to the movie)! Chances are that the band you were going to see froze to death. And for some reason she was yes (although it was probably to shut him up)

- Erika helping the villian out of the elevator. If I'm helping someone out of an elevator during a crisis, and he starts screaming at me, he's on his own. If I manage to put up with that, then he tries to kill me, he's not getting help when the elevator stops. Its as simple as that.

- The stairs become unpassable, so the team has to take the other stairs. Those stairs are supposedly outside. At this point its -200C outside, so the team has to put on cold suits. To get to the stairs, they have to shimmy across a ledge to the other side. In the process one person dies and another almost dies. When they get across, they take the stairs THAT ARE INSIDE. So the whole scene was there to kill time.

If you see this movie in the store, don't bother. There are better way to waste 90 minutes, and if you missed it on TV when it was first shown, there was probably a reason.

El Chupacabra

Ebert's Thumb covered this one very nicely. What I'm still wondering is HOW THE ENTIRE EQUATORIAL ZONE ACTUALLY REACHED -273 DEGREE CELCIUS!

Hello?! Was this movie written by scientists or scientologists? Pluto is 5,913,520,000 km away from the sun and it's a balmy -223° C. How the hell does the earth reach the theoretical point at which all matter ceases to move?

Besides that, I enjoyed the shameless imitation of CSI: Miami with scenes that panned the city of Miami from the air and the lead scientists transportation choice of a Hummer just like Horatio.. If only David Caruso was delivering the line "we need to evacuate everyone 30 degrees north and south of the equator". People would have listened. But no one did listen and now Miami is frozen solid and CSI has changed its name to CSI: Anchorage.

So I guess what I'm saying is, if you like CSI: Miami and you're a complete retard, you might enjoy this movie. If you have taken physics you will probably lose all your hair and have an embolism by the time the giant iceberg ends up in Miami harbor. In this case "The Day After Tomorrow" was -273 degrees Celsius with a 25% chance of showers. Note to homless people: That fridge box and newspaper blanket are not enough!

Kibakichi's Final Word

"The Day After Tomorrow" without a budget, good special effects, decent acting, or a plausible script.