El Chupacabra

Aliens never looked so bad

Evil Aliens has lots of gore, but the kind of over-the-top low-budget gore that looks cheap and is way too gratuitous. It has a story, but it's a weird one that seems like it was hashed out by a bunch of twenty-year old film studies majors. The crazy and impossible to understand Welsh farmers were briefly entertaining. Everything else screamed summer film project / reason to get drunk every night. To give some credit, Evil Aliens did contain some of the worst looking aliens I have ever seen. Extras in black spandex body suits make not a convincing alien. What it perhaps did the best was kill these aliens in the most gruesome ways. From being lifted in the air with a post protruding through its alien anus to being run-down by a combine in a wheat field, the gore hit some worrisome heights. By the time you reach the wholly disconcerting alien-human sex scene you'll either be recommending this movie to friends or be halfway back to the movie store.

And wow, I totally forgot the anal probe scene. I must have repressed the memory in an effort to protect my sanity. I don't swear a lot in my reviews, but it was fucking sick.

El Chupacabra's Ratings
Entertainment: 58%	B-Movieness: 40%
Quality: 38%	Regret: 56%

Eberts Thumb

You can't unwatch it

Evil Aliens starts out with a very graphic, very gory anal probe. I don't normally get queasy from films, but this got me pretty close. As bad as that was there are much worse scenes later on. Consider yourself warned.

Eberts Thumb's Ratings
Entertainment: 30%	B-Movieness: 100%
Quality: 20%	Regret: 75%