Eberts Thumb

The spawn of Satan comes to earth in the form of 9 year old Daniel (or Champ, or Buddy, or whatever the hell they called him). And death seems to follow where ever he goes. First his plane crashes into a mountain, but he walks away without even a singe on his clothes. Then the doctor and nurse having sex in the room next to him get killed when he wills an incredible heavy pipe thats loosely screwed into a ceiling panel falls on them. His dentist and assistant get the old dental drill in the eye. Pretty much everyone this kid crosses gets killed, but thats probably what you were looking for in a movie like this.

The main problem with 666: The Child is that the kid is in no way threatening or creepy as you'd expect of Satan in the flesh. Even when he's about to kill someone, he looks more like Dennis the menace than Damien.

El Chupacabra

It's hard to overlook the fact that every evil person is this movie appeared to be of Asian ancestry. Despite that, this movie shows how the son of satan would waste his unearthly powers on killing Granpa and Uncle Tony in the most grisly ways possible.

From what I can tell, the next anti-Christ:

1. Will be a small Asian boy
2. Will attract no attention from the police despite the fact that everyone he's near dies a horrible death via steam-filled pipe, ceiling fan, dental drill, lawnmower/nail-gun/circular saw, shower stall plate glass window, etc.
3. Will have an Asian nanny that tried the peace core, the amazon, and then settled on worshipping the dark lord.
4. Cannot catch a flyball.

The gore effects were bottom-notch and somewhat amusing. Like Ebert said, the scene with the large hospital steam pipe bolted into a two-inch foam ceiling panel made me wonder if the building was up to code. Add to that the fact that all the blood in the movie looked like really think Carrot juice, or possibly spoiled V8 Juice and you have the trappings of a bad movie. When a nun is run down, they show all the blood in her entire body being simultaneosuly sprayed onto a street sign from what would seem to be a garden hose.

What really clinched it was the boy (aka, he who is cast from heaven) and his devil worshipping nanny. He would act like a sweet kid and then go off and make mince meat out of grandpa, but he wasn't nearly as malevolent as I expected and his nanny who knew of his dark secret would always be telling him to wash his hands and say "please" and "thank you". Hello!? You are the son of satan! Steal a car, rob a gas station, and head to Vegas to get drunk/tatooed/laid/married (not necessarily in that order). Why the hell are you hanging around home, watching TV, eating turkey sandwiches, and unleashing power tools on Uncle Tony. Aren't you supposed to call in the four horsemen of the apocalypse and lay waste to our mortal realm? Baby steps I guess, you don't want to bite off more then you can chew. Today, Uncle Tony... Tomorrow, iPod users, the makers of Head On , and Greenland!

The lack of police in this movie except at the very end was disconcerting. I'd like to be assured that if the anti-Christ did show up, the local police would figure it out due to the unending body count and gruesome deaths that follow a dark haired kid everywhere he goes. I mean, he stabs a dentist and his assisstant in the eyes with a dentist drill killing them both and the police rule it an accident. What?! How many double dental-drill-to-the-face accidents happen each year?  Luckily in the end, when the father is about to kill his satanic son, a cop shoots the father in the head! Yeah, hell on earth after all. Thank you officer.

Now, if only we can get all those Head On and iPod users to move to Greenland...

Charles Bronson

ANOTHER BAD KNOCK OFF, THIS TIME TO 'THE OMEN".  BUT THIS TIME THE DEVIL'S SON IS ASIAN.  I THINK IT'S THE DEVIL'S SON OR IT COULD BE THE DEVIL, WASN'T PAYING TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO THE AWESOME PLOT.  EITHER WAY THIS DEVIL KID'S ARTWORK IS NOT UP TO PAR (STAY IN SCHOOL).      

FOR SOME ODD REASON EVERYONE AROUND THIS KID ENDS UP DYING HORRIBLY BUT NO ONE PICKS UP ON IT.  I DON'T KNOW BUT IF A HUNDRED OR SO PEOPLE BRUTALLY DIES IN LESS THAN A WEEK AND THIS KID HAPPENS TO BE RIGHT THERE, I THINK I WOULD START TO WONDER.  I MUST ADMIT SOME OF THE KILLING SCENES WERE QUITE ENJOYABLE TO WATCH.  I NOW KNOW SOME PEOPLE BLEED LIKE WATERMELON JUICE DROPPED FROM A 500 FOOT BUILDING.  WOULD NOT RECOMMEND THIS UNLESS YOU WANT THE PERSON WATCHING THIS WITH YOU TO DUMP YOU BECAUSE YOU JUST WASTING 90 MINUTES OF THEIR TIME. 

Crap Bag

To take a modified quote from WWE wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin "DTA. Don't trust Asians"  Particularly ones that can't catch a baseball.  To stick with the standard cliche of horror films where anyone having sex is typicaly the first to die.  Apartently along with telepathy and the devil's natural charisma.  The devil's son is also a telekinetic who seems to like to kill people with carefully placed everyday items.  So note for any would be parents out there if you adopt a young asian boy make sure all the blunt and sharp objects in the house are securly attached to the wall.  Also when you are try to kill someone after you shoot them once typcialy you shot them again and not run at them screaming branishing a knife.

Kibakichi's Final Word

Kibakichi wish he was paid to make movies as bad as this. Also, movie racist. Every asian person in movie was evil.